Monday, August 23, 2010

First Day of Kindergarten Blues

reason# 10,010

Who would have thought that I, as involved as I am, would have such a hard time letting my kindergarten child go on the very first day of school? It was an eye-opening experience that I won't forget any time soon. 

   My little one was so excited about school, that I was completely unprepared for his unraveling as I sat him down at his table. He looked up and me with his beautiful eyes and asked me to please stay with him. I hugged him and told him that mommy had to go but that I knew he would have an amazing day. I stood up and walked out as he clung to his daddy begging him to please let him go home, for just today. He wasn't ready, he whispered. I stood by the lockers outside of the room, crushed, as other parents walked out with much more strength than I had at the moment. I had an image of running in and picking him up in my arms as we bolted the halls together. Just then, Mrs. Fossler, our school counselor, rounded the corner. I told her that it was MY kid having a meltdown and that daddy wasn't about to leave him. You see, his daddy is worse than I am. Well, of course, Mrs. Fossler knows that the best way to deal with this situation is also the hardest. Just leave, brave parents, he'll be fine. She sat with him for a few minutes and ushered Joe out of the classroom. He and I peeked into the window one last time, watching as he stared at the door, waiting for our return.

Normally, as PAW president, I would stay for a while, do a meeting or two, but I knew that today my only option was to leave. So we left and went home to a silent house. That is when, dear parents, I lost it. I cried. I missed him so much. It dawned on me that the first time I went through this with my oldest son, I came home to a two year old. I worried all day about the little things. Would he be able to open all of his lunch packages? Will he be able to manage his buttons? Will he ever find his way home to me? The little things. :)

All I can say is this... It was the longest six hours of my life. We could not wait one second longer as we headed back up to the school to gather our children. We drove up. As my youngest climbed into the car, I asked him about his day. He informed me that it was a great day and that he was ready for tomorrow! He told me about how much fun he had and that he made friends just like I said he would. I was stunned. At the end of the day he was fine and I was a wreck. I am so proud of my big boy and I am looking forward to another great year at Creighton!
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Sunday, August 22, 2010

Reason# 10,009 - He loves US! How sweet is that.

Joe says he loves US. Not just me, but us... as a couple. During a conversation, he informed me that he has always seen us as a good team. We play well together. I've always known this and others have always seen this, but I was never sure if Joe did. To hear him say it just takes my breath away. We balance each other out. When the kids frustrate one of us to the point of anger, the other steps in. When one is sick or dealing with a hardship the other is always there to lead us through it. Since the very beginning we have always managed to fill in the gaps. A wise person once told me that love is NEVER 50/50. Truer words have never been spoken. In the best relationships, there will always be one pulling the other out. When one is weak, the other is strong. He has never said anything more romantic...
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Friday, August 20, 2010

It's My Party (that I don't want) and I'll Cry if I Want To

Matthew I understand completely
enough is enough already
I have been a giant fuzzy ball of emotional mush lately. I cry for an hour at a time. It isn't a pretty dainty cry, but the ugly puffy face cry. I have never had an emotional pregnancy such as this one. Of course, then I worry about the harm I'm doing to this child I'm carrying and I read that emotions lead to extra cortisol which lead to an emotional baby as well. Today I cried for hours because a few dear friends want to have a baby shower for me... and I DON'T WANT TO. Why? Because I'll cry... that's why. I also feel  uncomfortable having a third baby shower. Yes, its been five years... and yes I've given away almost everything baby related, and yes, every baby deserves a celebration but I just DON'T WANT TO. I don't have the energy, or the patience, or the desire to be the center of attention right now, what with my puffy red face and mucous. It doesn't help the fact that my sister-in-law questioned the etiquette of it all to ME... the emotional one... who didn't want to have one in the first place. I just have the desire to stick my tongue out at her right now.

Of course, I cry over school starting and Daniel venturing out into the world of education. I cry because I'm not ready to be a PTO mom and president again right now when all I really want to do is lay on my side and feel Dash roll around and watch him practice to breathe. I cry because I really WANT to be at the school as much as I can, but I know I won't be able to and I know I'm letting a lot of people down, even though they keep telling me how unimportant I really am in the grand scheme of things.  I cry because we didn't spend enough time reading together this summer... or camping together... or playing together.

I cry because my sweet husband tells me that if he were home all day like I am, he would choose to home-school the kids and would do just fine thank you very much. (yes, he knows he's a jerk and yes he apologized and yes he appreciates me and NO he wouldn't be able to handle it just fine thank you very much.)

Ok, that's enough for now

Other things that make me cry

Books - The Last Christian
Movies - The Last Song
Commercials - The foundation for a better life gets me every single time
Blogs -

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Reason# 10,008

We were so young 
 I have the most amazing husband... ever. Seriously. Who else would get up at 6:00 am to cook lasagna for the PTO? Or clean anything that I can't bend down to do? Or read a book beside me in bed until we both fall asleep? I have to admit reading beside him was quite alluring.... I had to work really hard to keep my hands off of him. I should stop now... Reason# 10,008

‎"People will tell you that this kind of love will fade
That bein in love like this is only a phase
But baby after all this time ain't nothin changed
All you gotta do is look at me that way

 There ya go
Makin me fall in love again
Oh and I gotta tell ya

Theres nothin better
Than you and me together
Workin on forever" 

~ Kelly Pickler ~ Makin me fall in love again

Sunday, August 15, 2010


Daniels boots

Dad: "Daniel, stop going outside without your shoes on."

Daniel: "Everybody's a Critic"

#Danielism of the day

Backstory: We were in a hurry to leave. Daniel wasn't. He kept insisting that he wear his red rain-boots to the store.

Reason# 10,006 AND 10,007

Just when I think I will never survive the next 30 days in my cumbersome, roly-poly stage of pregnancy, my husband says Thank You. "Thank you for carrying my children" as he bends down to put on my shoes, of which I am tired of doing. He also cooked an amazing dinner last night, followed by a healthy fruitful (speaking of fruitful) breakfast this morning. I love him so much and I am honored to carry his children.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Maternity Overnight Bag (check)

baby Stuff

My hospital bag is officially checked off of my list of things to do! Of course I still have six weeks to go, but you never know when you may need to be prepared. I'm having a C-section, so there are some things that I don't need... and others that I need more of since I already know I'll be there for at least three days.

List of essentials:


* Pajamas
* slippers
* socks
* robe
* Shampoo/conditioner
* makeup (for lots of pictures)
* toothpaste/toothbrush
* hand lotion
* cell phone
* book or e-reader
* pictures (they're in my phone)
* comfy clothes to wear home
* breastfeeding essentials (I'm not going to list these... nope)
* hairbrush! I forgot my hairbrush!


* two outfits newborn or 0-3 months (keep weather in mind)
* hat
* socks
* baby blanket
* baby book (for footprints!)
* baby clippers OR mittens
* CAR SEAT ( a must have... seriously... I really don't have to tell you this)

Daddy (Yes Daddy):

* change for the vending machine
* pajamas (if he's staying overnight with you)
* socks
* book
* snacks
* phone list
* camera
* insurance information and hospital registration ( yes, this IS his job, at least for now)

Humility: the quality of being modest, reverential, with a lack of arrogance and contempt

I talk a lot of (respectful) smack about this man, our President, but I have to say that I love this picture of him. It shows a humility and a kindness that I think I've been missing from him. It shows a great father and someone not afraid to get down on a child's level. It shows a man not afraid of grass stains. :) I like the pure joy of a child unaware of who he is and the impact he has on our world. Beautiful and I want to see more of THIS while he is our President, even if our opinions differ.

Old Spice Is Sexy Again

I bought some of THIS for my man....

So he could smell like this guy
Of course... sometimes dirty is good... :)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Buddha Belly

Buddha.... not mommy.
We saw this guy in Target today. Guess what Daniel said? "Look Daddy, it's mommy's tummy!" Nice...I am going to have a lot of work to do after this baby comes.

Reason# 10,005

Guess which side belongs to me.
I love the way that Joe lets me have every single pillow in the house piled onto our bed when I'm pregnant. I even love the way he laughs at me as I build my "nest" before bed.

Autumn: The Season Between Summer and Winter

After Springtime, Autumn is my favorite season. Of course, living in Texas, neither is as long as it should be so I have to be diligent and 
work hard at enjoying every single second. This autumn will be spent nurturing our newest family member being as his due-date is mid-September, so I'm posting past memories and a few new ones I'd like to make.

Matthew 2 years old
Mommy's moment of Genius

My Gentleman Pirate
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Reason # 10,004

Yes... This Guy
I love the way Joe sometimes just listens when I complain about my day. When I'm mad because the phone always rings at the wrong times, or when Daniel wants to play on my computer even though he KNOWS it isn't working well. He isn't judgmental and he doesn't just jump in to try to fix it. He JUST listens. (Of course, I would like him to help me fix the computer problems I'm having. That needs immediate action. I know that he will though...won't he?)

P.S. He fixed the computer!