Monday, August 23, 2010

First Day of Kindergarten Blues

reason# 10,010

Who would have thought that I, as involved as I am, would have such a hard time letting my kindergarten child go on the very first day of school? It was an eye-opening experience that I won't forget any time soon. 

   My little one was so excited about school, that I was completely unprepared for his unraveling as I sat him down at his table. He looked up and me with his beautiful eyes and asked me to please stay with him. I hugged him and told him that mommy had to go but that I knew he would have an amazing day. I stood up and walked out as he clung to his daddy begging him to please let him go home, for just today. He wasn't ready, he whispered. I stood by the lockers outside of the room, crushed, as other parents walked out with much more strength than I had at the moment. I had an image of running in and picking him up in my arms as we bolted the halls together. Just then, Mrs. Fossler, our school counselor, rounded the corner. I told her that it was MY kid having a meltdown and that daddy wasn't about to leave him. You see, his daddy is worse than I am. Well, of course, Mrs. Fossler knows that the best way to deal with this situation is also the hardest. Just leave, brave parents, he'll be fine. She sat with him for a few minutes and ushered Joe out of the classroom. He and I peeked into the window one last time, watching as he stared at the door, waiting for our return.

Normally, as PAW president, I would stay for a while, do a meeting or two, but I knew that today my only option was to leave. So we left and went home to a silent house. That is when, dear parents, I lost it. I cried. I missed him so much. It dawned on me that the first time I went through this with my oldest son, I came home to a two year old. I worried all day about the little things. Would he be able to open all of his lunch packages? Will he be able to manage his buttons? Will he ever find his way home to me? The little things. :)

All I can say is this... It was the longest six hours of my life. We could not wait one second longer as we headed back up to the school to gather our children. We drove up. As my youngest climbed into the car, I asked him about his day. He informed me that it was a great day and that he was ready for tomorrow! He told me about how much fun he had and that he made friends just like I said he would. I was stunned. At the end of the day he was fine and I was a wreck. I am so proud of my big boy and I am looking forward to another great year at Creighton!
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