Matthew,my firstborn son, will be nine in three days. I recall how much I longed for a child way back then. Joe and I had been married eight years before I got pregnant with Matt. We wanted children, but we didn't spent much time ruminating on with the fact that it didn't seem like we ever would. We were happy as a couple. Six years into our marriage, however, it began to concern me.... enough so that I asked my doctor about it. He ran a few basic tests, came back into the room and told me to give it nine months. Eight months later I was back in his office. Pregnant! Of course, I was only two weeks pregnant. I just knew. Thats the way its always been with Matthew, one small vision of Providence after another. Matthew is why I believe in miracles. Matthew is why my faith in God is so strong. I have no doubt now, that it took so long to conceive Matt because God knew that I wasn't ready. I had just come through the hardest year of my life then. I had to walk through flames and come out strong enough to be his mommy.
I was working then, seven years as a retail administrator. I had every intention of returning to work. I didn't see any other way. We couldn't afford to live on just Joe's income. I went back to work and was informed that I would have to take another position. The hours were terrible and it wasn't the job that I enjoyed doing. I left holding back tears. What were we to do? Joe and I discussed it. I prayed about it. I loved this new little man so much that I really wanted to be with him. The decision was clear. I wanted to stay at home with him. I was so afraid, but I knew that this was the direction I was meant to take. After making that decision, everything began to fall into place. My retirement gave us the funds to buy our company. Providence... This isn't to say that it's been easy financially, because it hasn't. This is to say that every time we suffered a setback, a new path opened before us.
As for Matthew, he is the sweetest,silliest kid. He has such a big heart and empathy large enough to move mountains. I remember when he was very small, maybe eighteen months, crying as he watched Winnie The Pooh. Eeyore was all alone, floating sadly down the river. I watched as Matt's lip began to quiver and I knew then... this is a special little boy. He's almost nine now and I still see that. He's so helpful to me and his new baby brother. Although he fights with Daniel more than I wish, I know that one day they will be best friends. I know that Matthew will defend Daniel with all that he has one day. I'm saddened to watch him grow so quickly. I still see him as my sweet blond little baby and I wish that time had stood still for a little while. I look forward to watching him grow and learn. I look forward to seeing the man he will become. Matt has taken the very BEST of Joe and me and I know that he will make the World a little bit better.
Happy Birthday my sweet Matt-moo. I am so thankful to be your mommy.