Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Backwards Motion of The Sexual Revolution

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition".  ~Timothy Leary

        We are stronger than men in every sense and yet we strive to be equal. Why do we lower our standards? The sexual revolution did little to help women find their power. I would even counter that it took us backwards in our fight. Proving the point that we were nothing more than sexual beings. It gave us a false sense of control, but what it really did was give men a constant plaything with no reason to revere us. Sure we may not get pregnant but men could still use us to their abandon. They no longer had to restrain their urges until they were ready to become fathers and husbands.  Men took this opportunity to place the burden of responsibility squarely on our shoulders as women. The goal should never have been to equate us to men but to EXALT us as women. To give power to our evolutionary and God-given design as caretakers and nurturers. To honor our mothers and their mothers before them. Instead woman of the movement looked down upon the very woman that raised them, shaming those that were stronger and worked harder than any of us have ever had to.

How free are we when even workplace equality has thrown of the balance of our lives by making it virtually impossible for one person to provide for their family? So many women entered the workforce at once that it was a financial boon for corporations everywhere. They could pay us less AND lay off our husbands at the same time. They continued by lowering mens salaries instead of raising womens. We can no longer choose lightly to raise our own children without the sense of guilt and burden we feel by placing so much of one partners shoulders.

 How free are we when we feel a profound sense of guilt for choosing not to take birth control. We, even as married women, feel that we are socially irresponsible, if we choose to avoid the  chemicals and hormones that MAY not work for us. We are racked with guilt as feminist women look down upon a woman like Sarah Palin for having the audacity to give birth to a child with down syndrome. Surely a woman that "chooses" that could NOT be an intelligent capable woman to look up to! Further, they rail against her daughter as she takes, once again, a vow of abstinence, snickering at the ignorance of a girl thinking that she may control her own sexual urges. They talk of freedom of choice as long as its not that "Duggar" woman that dares to have 18 children in this day and age.

My father was the biggest pro-feminist of them all, I can assure you. He saw absolutely no reason for my mom to stay home to raise me after I was born. He demanded that she return to waitressing six weeks after I was born and she never sealed the hole in her heart. Where was her power?

My husband and I worked together for eight years to build our lives and home, so that we could be prepared to raise a child. When I decided to stop working to raise my oldest, my father told me that I should be "ashamed of myself" for putting such an undue burden upon my husband. I took my power and my moms, along with the grace of God and a whole lot of prayer and I made the decision that was right for US.

This isn't to say that we shouldn't have birth control or the right to "equal work, equal pay" Surely, we do. Yet we need to look into our mirrors and ask WHY we are more tired than ever before, less happy than even our own mothers. HOW is it possible that we can have it all,  yet we seem to have less? WHAT is our new place in this world? WHEN did this happen and WHO caused our turmoil?  We did, by forgetting our mothers and what the real struggle was about. I think the mistake came when we turned it into a social and political movement instead of an evolving , natural process of society. We let too few speak for too many 

We don't need to find our equality, we need to find our Power.


  1. I wish there was a check box for AMAZINGLY INSIGHTFUL and BRILlIANTLY SMART! :) I am reading a book that speaks alot about this. It's called RADICAl WOMANHOOD by Carolyn McCulley. You will love it!

  2. "We are stronger than men in every sense and yet we strive to be equal." I couldn't disagree more. Women aren't stronger in every way. That opinion is as bad an idea as the idea that women are lesser then men. Women are women. They aren't men and they shouldn't be COMPARED to men. We each, as the human species, have our unique giftings, talents, and abilities. We aren't EQUAL in ability any more than an apple is to an orange. We are each entirely separately unique from the other. We are, however, EQUAL to each other in the capacity that we both have the same 24hrs a day to excel, succeed, to be more than we were than the day before, in the arena of our own sex as human beings.

    Now, having said that, you are absolutely right in that the sexual revolution put women back. Men just found a craftier way to sell the story that we've been trying to sell women since the foundation of time.

    You are also absolutely 100% correct in the idea that the feminist revolution equated competing with men in the work arena somehow made them MORE equal to men and that staying home to raise children, maintain the home, etc., was somehow a lesser role. This is the most DAFT of all the lies told to us.

    My wife is a full time mom and let me tell you, I am unable to express the IMMENSE gratitude, admiration, wonder, and attraction that I have for her simply because of how AMAZINGLY she pours into our children and consequently, how amazingly wonderful our children are turning out to be. TO ME, there is no higher calling, no greater job than MOTHER. And after 21 years happily married, I feel I have some right to speak on the subject. I'm married to my best friend and it is precisely BECAUSE of her choice to be a full-time mother and because I see the work and effort involved that I have such immense admiration for her.

    Alrighty... I'll step off my soap box now. Thanks for the article.